The admen and the marketing mavens have created a cultural expectation around special occasions and calendar events. We are inundated with sales pitches for Christmas, birthdays, weddings, anniversaries, New Year, Halloween, Valentine's Day, Mother's Day, Father's Day, and any other day they can find that will make us feel that we absolutely have to buy a gift to express our sentiments.

Dates on the calendar are merely days like any other days. Our relationships are 365 days a year and something this good deserves a celebration at any time and at any place. Spontaneous, unexpected "special" occasions can remind us of the importance of each and every day in our lives together.

Just pick a day at random, occasionally, and make it memorable. If others ask about what is so special, just smile and turn away - they'll speculate for hours about what you might be celebrating.

Give your partner a special gift - wrapped in pretty paper with a personal message. Send flowers, the more the better, to your partner's work site. They don't have to be the expensive de-rigeur long-stemmed roses. Six tubs of fresh daisies or daffodils will do the trick. When you order them, expect the standard refrain of "What's the occasion." Put on the card, "This is 'An every day with you is wonderful' celebration."

Blow up a bunch of cheap balloons, write a few happy words on them, and fill up your partner's car or bathtub or shower with them.

Send a small gift in the mail or send a funny e-card. If you know your partner's coworkers, give them a present to put on the computer keyboard as a pleasant surprise after a grueling meeting.

Wrap yourself up in something slinky, tie on a bow, and greet your partner at the door with a box of chocolates or a favorite drink.

Virginia Bola, PsyD

Dr. Virginia Bola is a Licensed Clinical Psychologist, a vocational expert, a social commentator and a self-admitted diet fanatic. After 20 years of owning a vocational rehabilitation company, she is now Manager of Clinical Operations for a major MBHO.

She has authored numerous articles on the psychology of weight control, the emotional correlates of unemployment and job search, social issues, politics, and the graying of America.

Her latest book, completed in June, 2005,is Diet With An Attitude: A Weight Loss Workbook, an interactive manual providing the reader with personal guidance and encouragement in the battle to lose weight. It takes an irreverent approach to dieting while providing innovative and therapeutic exercises for self-exploration, confidence-building and emotional self-support.

Her earlier book, The Wolf At The Door: An Unemployment Survival Manual, provides unemployed workers with therapeutic exercises, self-exploration, and confidence-building worksheets combined with specific, step-by-step techniques for finding work.