I have been a member of "Ezinearticles" for several months now. I havent submitted any articles for publication until this. I read "The Route to Democracy" by 1st Lt. Laura M. Walker. This article both moved me in a manner that I have difficulty putting to words. I am an Army Veteran of the Vietnam era. My military specialty kept me within the boundaries of the United States. I then spent several years in the Army Reserve. My brother was a retired Air Force officer and I had several of my friends who lost their young lives during this terrible conflict. I requested to be put on active duty for two years as a US Army Recruiter. I specialized in recruiting individuals for the Army Reserve.

Shortly after my two year tour ended a US Army Reserve unit that had been activated was attacked by a terrorist bomber and a young girl whom I enlisted lost her life. As years went by and I lost my brother the military became sort of a "thing" with me. All during my time spent on active duty and the Reserves the military was just something to do. I was very proud of what I did but there was something that I was missing. I now feel somewhat ashamed. Being passionate about something was very difficult if not impossible for me.

I started to think about the individuals who were against the Vietnam War and how they would demonstrate and put all of that effort into their beliefs. Why was I not like that? Beating myself up over something that I can not change soon became quite obvious to me was stupid and counter productive. I would like to have had those kinds of feelings while on active duty.

My military specialty was a psychiatric corpsman. After training, my time was spent at an Army hospital in the north east. I equate the way I feel with the way someone feels that happened to be the last surviving member of a military unit after a major battle. All of my buddies are dead. Why didnt I go to Vietnam, but so many did? Why was I left behind? These questions are academic. I understand all of that medical stuff. I choose this type of enlistment so I have no one to blame but my self. The feelings I have are not overbearing or causing a problem for me, so dont worry about that. My feelings are something I think are happening because of my age, one starts to entertain thoughts of your mortality as you age. I have a friend dying because of his two years spent in Vietnam. All of the news coverage of this countries situation in other parts of the world has heightened my thoughts of my time in the military.

The last several years I have been trying to express my feelings toward the men and women in the service of our country. This also includes the men and women serving as police officers and fire fighters. The events of 9-11 made me think about the other men and women in uniform. I was also a Military Policeman. I now felt a stronger kinship to the military and now to the others who lost their lives. I live in western Pennsylvania and have visited Shanksville. As a student of the American Civil War I began to realize that how I felt while visiting the battlefields of the Civil War are the same feelings I get when I think about our men and women in service of our country.

This writing is my way of closing the past, not in the sense of the past being bad, but allowing me to feel better about my inner feelings. I have attended several therapy sessions and I have no problem talking to strangers about my problems. They do seem to work, at least for me. Getting those inner thoughts out in the open seem to take a large load off of ones mind.

I started to write about my thoughts. I have a 30 page rambling of thoughts that I was having at that time. One night at a Civil War club meeting we were talking about the Corps badges of the Union army. We were all having some trouble remembering which corps was designated by what badge. Some one said to me why you dont write a book about the badges. I said your right. Well several weeks latter I sat down and started to research the Corps badges and low and behold there was a short book. I really enjoyed doing it. The writing and the research. I then started another booklet. This one was a time line of major events of the Civil War. These led to others. I have written several articles on different subjects, some on computers and some on the Civil War. These articles I plan on posting to ezinearticles along with one.

The writing is fun but I have no idea as to how good of a writer I am. Were do I need to improve myself?. Doing research was a chore when I was in high school now with the internet the research is so much easier. You can do a large share of the research from your home in your underwear. How good is that?

Being able to earn a few dollars from writing would be so nice. I would like to ask the individuals that happen to read this article to send me an email and critique my writing. Maybe there might be someone out there that might want me to do a little research and write a few words on the results. Other articles posted on this site seem to approach the subject of writing the same way. Write a short article on a subject, in your BIO direct them to your Web site to purchase items or other things that you may have for sale. There is nothing wrong with that. I intend on doing the same thing shortly. I havent completed my web site as of yet. For now I would like to hear from some of the readers with some words of encouragement of what ever. My shoulders are big. If I have no talent please be fair and let me know. That doesnt mean that I will quit writing. I will try and improve my style and approach to writing.

I hope everyone has liked my short article. The words and thoughts put in this article are the truth. I do feel this way. Waiting to hear from anyone. You can write me at this email address cstep@3rdm.net.