An enchanted wedding day is for many women a lifetime dream, yet females are currently the majority gender filing for divorce. Perhaps it is because sober reflection is difficult when suffering from a wounded heart, or because the long term consequences are veiled. In either case, education is the link to making the right choice of whether to stay in or leave a marriage.

The intimate details of ones life are personal but the consequences of being single, particularly with minor children, are famous. After divorce women of all races struggle with a lower standard of living, career sacrifices, the majority of responsibility for the children, and inequitable pay and retirement (compared to men).

A recent study indicates that nearly 70 percent of divorces are low conflict relationships that could be saved with proper therapeutic intervention. As reasons for leaving, men consider the amount of day to day conflict, level of negativity, intensity and level of daily hassle. Women consider the quality of the positive bond, friendship and fun, and the overall satisfaction of the relationship.

Consider a spiritual approach to invoke discernment, insight, and wisdom when navigating the decision making process.

Pray pause and ponder

1. Are we merely struggling with communication skills?
2. Can we focus on solving our problems rather than the emotions surrounding them?
3. Why do we argue? Do we admit our mistakes to neutralize tension?
4. Do we speak and behave with the same courtesy as to a colleague, neighbor, or friend in the workplace?
5. Does conflict define the quality of our relationship?
6. How can we focus on our positive qualities?

A competent therapist has a variety of tools to learn how to communicate, respect one another and re-ignite the flame that originally brought you together. Note however that your goal of saving your marriage may not be the goal of or the role of your therapist. Clearly state your intentions. Therapists are trained to be neutral and not necessarily to map out a plan for reconciliation.