Dear Santa,

I want you to bring me absolutely, positively EVERYTHING IN THE WORLD for Christmas, but EVERYTHING IN THE UNIVERSE would be better. Before proceeding, please demonstrate prior mastery of these skills.

Sincerely,

Greta Human Resources Specialist

Can you imagine the audacity of a person who would pen such a note to dear Santa Claus, someone known for punctuality, an excellent track record and literally billions of references?

Yet we think nothing of having human resources clerks craft position descriptions that sound as if a grabby, perfectionistic brat has defined the job and the right person to fill it.

I, for one, think there should be a little truth in advertising with regard to employment searches.

Ads should list essential qualifications, and they should fit the work to be done. Anything more, and it is useless and deceptive padding, put there to defeat the candidacy of people we dont like, or to give an advantage to people we know who are applying.

One element that I utterly despise is, Must be a good team player.

First of all, unless youre The Bad News Bears, youre not a TEAM; youre a business or a regular organization. Mentioning TEAMS and teamwork is resorting to metaphor, to figures of speech, to abstractions.

That top salesperson youre interested in doesnt have to be a team player because selling isnt a sport, and if it were, it wouldnt be a team sport. Theres almost nothing thats collaborative about it, and thats one reason many of the rugged individualists youll find in business today make their way into sales.

Some enterprising lawyers will undoubtedly discover the injustices that are perpetrated by overreaching employment recruiters. Before they do, wise companies will examine and scale back their position descriptions so they afford qualified candidates a chance to compete for legitimate, real world jobs.