Be not forgetful to entertain strangers, for thereby some have entertained angels unawares. The Bible

The third-biggest retailing holiday is one day away. Just behind Christmas and Fathers Day, Valentines Day will be celebrated by spending $13 billion on anything heart-shaped, chocolate-flavored or rose-scented.

While never refusing dark chocolate nor snubbing floral deliveries, Im just not into either this year. OK. Maybe Im still into chocolate. My hubby will be out-of-town on Valentines Day, so it just wont be a very big deal; itll be celebrated upon his return. But apparently, very few others feel the same way. A recent report by Kiplingers found that men out-spend women three to one, spending an average of $92. Last year, 175 million roses were produced for Valentines Day alone, more than enough for every adult in America to get one.

Frankly, Ive never been one to fall wholeheartedly into the whole Valentines Day ritual. Dont buy my hubby silk boxers with little hearts all over them; dont question our marriage if he walks in the door sans roses. So rather than give you yet another creative take on the Valentines Day holiday, Im going to brag about a fellow rocket mom.

My friend, Kim, rocket mom to four kids (all within five years) sent out via email an invitation to a Chicken Soup for the Soul luncheon at her home. I had assumed that she was including her closest friends, but it turned out that she was inviting only those women who were serving in various caretakingor shepherdingcapacities at our church for her children. She wanted it to be casual; again, I assumed it was kind of a drop-in-as-you-feel-like-it kind of a party. But instead, it was a sit-down affair, with homemade chicken soup, salad, rolls and home-baked cookies.

Kim made a conscious decision to make adult friendships a high priority in her life, and despite feelings of being overwhelmed, or of being intimidated by entertaining styles of some of her other acquaintances, she was inspired to do something simple, yet meaningful.

After a lovely afternoon of lunching with new and old friends, Kim presented us with Valentines goodies bags: chocolates tied with a pretty ribbon and a quote, each of us receiving something unique.

I believe your quote will speak directly to you, Kim said as, one by one, we read our quotes and nodded, some of us with lumps in our throats, about the uncanny effect that this little ritual had on us. (Sort of like opening a Chinese fortune cookie to discover what seems like a fortune written just for you, only better)

When I reflect back on those memories which evoke the strongest sentiments, invariably they include those times when someone enveloped me into her cocoon, wrapping me with simple things, like hot food, fresh coffee and undivided attention. When a girlfriend grabbed me for my birthday or for moving away or just after childbirth, to enjoy a warm meal surrounded by all the creature comforts of her home. Those special times dont come all that frequently, and so we remember them with special fondness. And so the older I get, the more convicted I become to practice hospitality to others when opportunities spring into my path.

This weekend, we had the opportunity to extend hospitality to a traveling drama troupe from Cape Cod. They were to perform the 15th century play, Everyman, in our town, before we got buried under the 26 of snow which hit the entire northeast corridor early Sunday morning. The team of eight needed three different homes in which to stay, and we offered ours as one of them. The plans took an obvious shift when we became stranded at home, as we sit on top of a mountain at the mercy of a private snow plower. So what we thought would be a weekend of entertaining for a couple of meals and a few warm beds turned into a solid two days of long chats by the fire, a half-dozen pots of coffee and a few more times around the kitchen table than we had originally planned.

And we were all so blessed. One of the gentlemen whom we housed remarked: Ill bet in twenty years youll all look back on this weekend and say Remember when those three guys from the Cape came and stayed with us and we got stuck in the biggest snowstorm to have ever hit New England?

And of course, we all will.

Theres a game which is frequently played in adult discussion circles which goes something like: Write down the names of three Academy Award winners for Best Actress; write down the names of three Olympian gold-medal winners; write down the names of blah-blah-blah. (You get the idea) It finishes by asking you to write down the names of three teachers you had an impact on your life.

And of course, we can do that without batting our eyes.

Human connection. Extension. Intimate interaction. Thats what has impact. Thats what has meaning. Evokes the strongest memories. Conveys true love.

So on Valentines Day this year, I will try to do those seemingly small yet powerful love acts that might, in some way, have eternal significance. Flowers? Chocolate? Yeah. Theyre all great. But opening my door to a stranger. Giving my hubby and my kids undivided attention. Leaving simple gifts on my childrens pillows. Writing a meaningful letter. Calling a long-lost friend. Following Kims example of hospitality. Those will be my inspirations for Valentines Day this year.

I hope you have a love-filled Valentines Day. In whatever form you think best defines it.

Carolina Fernandez

Carolina Fernandez earned an M.B.A. before working at IBM and as a stockbroker at Merrill Lynch. She left the corporate world to work as a full-time wife, mother, and homemaker.

Coming home to longer hours, harder work, and more demanding relationships left her feeling totally overwhelmed. Granted, she traded one investment field for another which has yielded immeasurable returns heretofore unimagined. Nonetheless, her frustration at her lack of ability in tackling all of motherhood’s inherently difficult challenges pushed her into a nearly twenty year labor of love. Her research in child development, child psychology, social psychology, nutrition, and exercise physiology, along with indispensable insights and experiences gained along the way, finally evolved into ROCKET MOM!

She re-invented herself in the process. She has dabbled in the domestic, performing, and visual arts, undertaking projects ranging from painting in oils to hooking rugs to singing onstage in Carnegie Hall. She has developed strong convictions about the role of the arts in child development; these convictions have shaped the specific strategies played out in the book.

She has a passion for inspiring creativity in people of all ages, from pre-schoolers to rocket grandmoms! Indeed, she receives particular joy in helping moms on the front line as they engage in what is arguably the most creative challenge ever invented: motherhood. To this end, she writes and speaks extensively, and is constantly developing teaching materials in her effort to share the crucial intervention of creative nurturing in developing children. She shares her message via radio and TV interviews; print media; and in speaking platforms via seminars and workshops, lectures and keynotes for pre-schools, women’s groups, retreats, civic organizations and adult education classes. Her soon-to-be-launched cable TV program, ROCKET MOM! will reach thousands of households in the Fairfield County area of Connecticut.

Her newly-formed Rocket Mom Society attempts to meet her mission head-on as she “encourages, equips and empowers moms for excellence.”

She lives with her husband and their four children in Ridgefield, Connecticut.