We all encounter those hosts and hostesses who feel it is their duty to make us eat whatever their specialty is and generate a sense of guilt if we do not flatter their creation by stuffing ourselves with it, regardless of our weight control plans and weight loss goals. Here are some nice ways to decline her offering.

For example's sake, we will use her justly famous (but horrendously caloric) cheesecake.

10 Nice Ways to Decline:

1. Thanks, but I came to enjoy your company, not your cheesecake.

2. I'll trade everything on that plate for a cup of your incomparable coffee.

3. Before I eat anything, I'd love to see your new vacation pictures.

4. This time I'm really losing weight so I can't break down, even though I know how delicious your cheesecake always is.

5. Thanks, but no thanks.

6. Thanks, but I'm on a mission - to thin-dom.

7. It looks too good to eat . . . I'd hate to spoil it.

8. I'm on a very strict diet that unfortunately bans your terrific cheesecake.

9. I already filled up on your wonderful dinner, perhaps next time.

10. Wow, that looks gorgeous but it just isn't something I'm allowed right now.

When these don't work (and they won't), bring on the big guns - the declinations that ensure your hostess will not continue to press you further but may actually retreat to the other side of the room to bug someone else.

The Big 15 (That Really Work):

1. Sorry, but I'm allergic to cheesecake . . . my eyes swell shut.

2. Thanks, but cheesecake always gives me flatulence.

3. Thanks, but I'm already so full I'm having trouble keeping everything down . . . where's your bathroom?

4. Thanks, but I see my personal trainer first thing in the morning and if I've slipped, he's a sadist!

5. I spent the day at the dentist's office so I couldn't touch anything.

6. My aunt almost died of food poisoning from eating cheesecake - I just can't face it anymore.

7. Sorry, but I hate cheesecake.

8. My grandmother was eating cheesecake when she died. I've never touched it since.

9. I'd love to, but cheesecake always gives me immediate hives.

10. Sorry, but I'm a cheesecake alcoholic. One bite and I'll eat the whole thing.

11. Sorry, I don't do cheesecake - and you shouldn't either, honey.

12. I'm fasting this week and it's time for my enema.

13. I'd love some, but cheesecake always makes me throw up.

14. Cheesecake always makes my crowns fall out.

15. If I eat that, I'll be forced to lead all your guests in 50 sit ups immediately afterwards.

Caution: you may not be invited back again for a while (but you're on your way to successful weight control).

Virginia Bola, PsyD

Dr. Virginia Bola is a Licensed Clinical Psychologist, a vocational expert, a social commentator and a self-admitted diet fanatic. After 20 years of owning a vocational rehabilitation company, she is now Manager of Clinical Operations for a major MBHO.

She has authored numerous articles on the psychology of weight control, the emotional correlates of unemployment and job search, social issues, politics, and the graying of America.

Her latest book, completed in June, 2005,is Diet With An Attitude: A Weight Loss Workbook, an interactive manual providing the reader with personal guidance and encouragement in the battle to lose weight. It takes an irreverent approach to dieting while providing innovative and therapeutic exercises for self-exploration, confidence-building and emotional self-support.

Her earlier book, The Wolf At The Door: An Unemployment Survival Manual, provides unemployed workers with therapeutic exercises, self-exploration, and confidence-building worksheets combined with specific, step-by-step techniques for finding work.