I was working with Pauline who put her daughter before everything. When I asked her what she wanted, she replied she wanted her daughter to be happy. Shell get that I said, what you want. That very question, a little one, yet at the same time a big one, is often a difficult one to answer.

We think about other people; family, children, partners, spouses and friends. We often know what we dont want, and find it a deep and difficult question to state what we do want. What is this all about? Is it about feeling that you may make the wrong choice; there is a better sweet in the sweet shop of life. By choosing one, are you rejecting the wrong ones, and if you had it, would you want it? Would it be enough for you?

With Pauline we explored a situation where she felt good, totally resourceful, truly in control and open to learning. She described an emergency situation with great visual clarity, which was all about life and death and needed her direction. As we talked she clearly described the colours in the room, the smell of the room, a telephone ringing and a colleague calling out and her feelings of confidence.

I asked her what colour these feelings of confidence were. She stopped and thought for a moment having never thought about her feelings having any colour. I dont know she replied, with a quizzical look. And if you did know what colour would they be? I asked. Magenta she stated and wondered where that had come from. I asked her where these feelings were. She thought, and involuntarily touched her tummy and her chest. They are here she said, thrilled that she had located them.

She made the magenta as bright and as big as possible and anchored these lovely positive feelings of confidence on her left knee so that she could access them again, whenever she needed to.

As she left, she said that she was leaving with a true belief in herself for the first time.